Dinosaurs on the Ark

There is a sect of scholars called the Shakespearean Literalists who claim that Hamlet was a historical figure. They go around Europe in archeological expeditions trying to unearth his body. Their main publication reported last year that they have found his true tomb and presented some compelling data to prove it; the article even showed pictures of a pair of shoes that seem to have belonged to the Danish prince. There is also an obscure reference to Hamlet by a respected historian from that epoch which adds credibility to their argument.

Less radical scholars are appalled by the Literalist's claims and have created academies to disprove Hamlet's historicity; throughout the years they have compiled plenty of circumstantial evidence supporting their case. Their latest success, after a long and costly legal battle, was to pass legislation in some States forbidding the teaching of Hamlet on middle schools. "Not everybody believes in Hamlet", a spokesman for the Anti-literalists said, "Tax payers should not be running with the bill. If some people want to know about Hamlet they should do it on weekends".

Atheists who run carbon dating tests on pieces of wood to disprove that earth is six thousand years old are as delusional as the Jehovah's Witness who runs the same tests to prove it. In a curious way there is not much difference between Richard Dawkins and his detested nemesis Billy Graham; both are trapped in the same mind set by taking the story literally.

As both camps are busy arguing about the virginity of Mary and how many dinosaurs could be housed on Noah's Ark, the biggest casualty of this bloody battle is the real message contained in the book that one side is trying to defend and the other attack.